The What's What and Fragile X
Fragile X and life has changed everything!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
RIP Misty Payne
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Sorry
I seen this on a fellow bloggers page and I fely like I needed to post it and fit it to follow the many times I have had to say that I am Sorry.. because lets face it.. we all have more times than we can count.
A letter to my children, in hopes that they will learn from my words.
You will have to apologize more times in your life than you can even imagine. Yes, when you are young you will think that you could never possibly be wrong. But you will be. Oh how you will be. You will do things for which you are ashamed. You will hurt the people who are closest to you. You will say words you wish you could take back. Inevitably, there will be friendships that will be irreparably fractured. It happens to all of us. It is called being human.
It seems like apologizing would be something easy to do, but it isn’t. So just how do you apologize? I have compiled some rules for you to follow.
Rule #1:
Resist the urge to use the word “but.” You will want to. You will want to explain your actions or your words, whatever it is that has caused the other person pain; don’t do it. The word “but” negates all the words that came before it.
Rule #2:
Apologize for your actions. Take Responsibility!! Even if you think that the other person has some fault in the argument, apologize for your part.
Rule #3:
The most important thing is to be sincere. Look the person in the eye. Don’t give a half-hearted apology and say something like “I am sorry you got upset when I…” A half-assed apology is worse than none at all. Because not only are you not offering up an apology for what you did wrong, you are telling the other person that they had no right to get upset.
Rule #4:
Do not text your apology. Do not email it. For the love of all things holy, Do Not Post It on Facebook. Give the person your apology in person, or if that is not possible, over the phone.
Rule #5:
Offer reparations. Make it right if possible. Show the person in a meaningful way that you are truly sorry.
Rule #6:
Let it go. All you can do is apologize. You can’t make a person forgive you. There will be times when an apology just isn’t enough and the relationship will end. It is in those moments that you should learn from your mistakes and not repeat them.
Rule #7:
You should realize that as much as you will have to apologize, others will have to apologize to you. Be gracious. Offer forgiveness. Sometimes you will find yourself overly invested in hanging onto your anger and enumerating the ways that you have been wronged. That is precisely the time you should do some self-examination.
Love,
Your Mother, who wishes she didn’t have to learn these rules the hard way
http://alphamom.com/parenting/seven-rules-on-how-to-apologize/
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Me Two Years Ago Vs. Me Now
Monday, May 2, 2011
But.. Sometimes
Believe What You Want
If you read on and don't like what I have to say.. you can't say I didn't warn you! <3
A common posed question that comes from living in what is known as the 'Bible Belt' is "why don't you attend church?" Some have posed this question and began preaching about God.
Personally I have come to a cross road, where my childhood belief in God has been replaced by more questions that has paused my belief that there is a God and if there is..
How could he allow the things to happen to me as a child, (the MANY types of abuse I endured), or any child for that matter and say that. Then to top it all off... if you ask for forgiveness for what you did to supposably God's children you can still be saved.. REALLY.. I mean REALLY!
The Bible a book written by MAN is what everyone is supposed to follow.. well on my time on earth.. I have learned MEN LIE. Hell, everyone lies.
I could go on for hours at this point and I know that EVERYONE could argue their points and religion with me until we are all blue in the face.
However, changing my mind is not going to happen just like changing your mind will not either. I can see that many want something to believe in and I can understand that.. but I am not sure that I could agree with every point that is made.
My disbelief spans from many things that have happened in my life.. what don't kill us makes us stronger right.. WRONG.. it inevitably changes the way our mentality works and what we think about life from that point on.
I am going to live my life the way I feel and if at the end of the day I am wrong.. then I did it my way and I was happy while I did it.
Who would fault me for that?!?!
SO at the end of the day when you question my soul and how I live my life.. Know that as a child I grew up in the church and was still abused as a child! After I was 'saved' in that church I got even MORE abuse..
Now I question every aspect that you believe in and I can understand if you want to question mine.
I will not push my views on you and I would like it if you didn't push your view on me.
I allow my children to attend church and figure out for themselves how they feel at the end of the day.
But I am happy with the choices I have made for my life and that is the way I want to live this life!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Slightly broken hearted
An Open Letter to all Professionals
Hello? New teacher, or therapist, or doctor?
Is that you?
Oh hello… I just wanted to chat with you a second. To caution you. Or warn you.
Please, tread carefully.
You see, what you might not realize as you look at me, talk to me, tell me your opinions, our options, our lack of options, and your predictions of our outcomes is that; well… you see that heart?
The slightly broken, definitely bruised one?
Yeah, that’s my heart. My slightly-broken, definitely-bruised heart.
Now, I realize that as you look at me you might see…a confident parent… or an angry parent…or a happy-go-lucky parent…
You might think that I understand everything… or nothing…… or that I have all the experience in the world because I have done this before… or that I know the rules… or that I don’t know the rules and that is for the best….
You might believe… that I am high maintenance… or overreacting… or maybe neurotic… or disengaged and uninterested… or that I don’t really care… or maybe I care too much…
But regardless of what you see, what you think, or what you believe, this is what you should know:
I am broken-hearted. And it doesn’t matter if it is the first day or a century later. It doesn’t matter where in the “grief cycle” I might be. It doesn’t matter if the wounds are healed, or healing, or fresh and new. This heart is bruised. Slightly broken. Different than it once was and will ever be again. And when you speak, or don’t speak, in judgment or not, my heart is out there.
Some of “us” parents… the ‘special’ ones… can be a pain in the ass. I know that. WE know that. But we are fighting a fight we never planned to fight, and it doesn’t end. We don’t get to clock out at the end of the day. We don’t get a vacation from it. We live it, everyday. We are fighting without knowing how to fight it, and we depend so much on you to help us. We have been disappointed, by you or others like you. And we are disappointed in ourselves. We are your harshest critics. We are our own harshest critics too. We are genuinely fearful, and driven, and absolutely devoted. And we also know, we need you. So please, be careful with us. Because as hard and tough as we may look outwardly, our hearts are fragile things.
the crack and the light
www.thecrackandthelight.com
This really brought me to tears as I read these words. I feel like I could have written the same thing to my son's teachers at times!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thinner than paper.
While I don't let how I feel stop what needs to be done... house work, class work, appointments and everyday kids stuff, that don't mean that I don't want to still hide.
I love my kids and I vas in all that they are and I love spending time with them, however; all the arguing, tantrums, sleepiness nights, broken stuff and every other negative behavior pulls at my strings.
There are days that are much grander than other and some that are not so good. But as I stepped away for a few days after I started this entry I realized that I am richer in more than any wealth many could ever imagine. So what started as a blog about me just at the end of my rope and wanting nothing more that 2 minutes alone to breathe, I realize that I am not sure that it's what I really want at all.
But what do I want.. is there really anything that I want?
My kids are healthy.. aside from our X's!
We live in a nice house that is only getting better the more WE work on it!
I have a wonderful husband who loves me and accepts all that I am ~ crazy X's and all!
My kids are happy and so is my husband and I!
Now that's not to say that there are days that we are not happy and we are stressed and needing some time apart.
But in real life who doesn't need time away from each other. We are a family and dissipate my personal issues and faults, I will live with the negative behaviors and just look forward to the days that are better!
Because without me looking forward to the days that are grand.. how will I ever make it?!