Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Me Two Years Ago Vs. Me Now

At a party for a friend of mine's and my birthday party I was having a discussion with a friend and a friend of hers. We discussed politics, religion and then we got on the topic of disabilities, government aid and my choice on kids.

First I will explain what I said and then what would have been said and done.

Person 1 - friend of a friend, against government aid and my choice for kids. She works in a hospital in patho.

Person 2 - friend of mine who understand the need for government aid and choices. She works with people who have disabilities.

We were talking and person 1 expressed how she felt about people with disabilities and that they should not get government aid. She said she should not have to pay for someone else's bills and that there should not be social security, because people should learn to take care of their future themselves.

This upset me, but I kept calm and explained my said of it: I told her that most can't hold a job or even function in normal society without having some difficulties. My son can't enter a store without freaking out and he might not ever be able to get a job and will most likely will live with me or in care of someone forever. His doctor bills are too high for us to pay for without some kind of help. I see more specialist than you can imagine. However, I am going to college and I hope that one day his need for this aid will lower!

Person 2 explains that she works with people who don't have the ability to hold a job, they want some independence and the aid they get helps them keep some independence. Having a child with disabilities is hard enough without having more stress about getting medical bills that they can't pay.

This discussion continued and person 1 still stuck to her side that she didn't want to pay for others and that the government wasn't meant to help people in that way.

I told her she should try and have a child with disabilities and I knew her tune would change.

Then person 1 asked me how I could have more children if I knew I had a genetic disorder and if I have one disabilities.

This really pushed my buttons...

I told her that I didn't know I had the genetic disorder until I already had my first three kids. (Being upset figures went out the window) Having a girl with the full mutation of FXS is slim and there are chances that you can also have a boy without the disability. You (person 1) should know that medical breakthroughs that happen everyday; that there will be a day that there is a cure or a way that people who have it are not as debilitated by it. If I decided to have 10 more kids it will be my choice and I will take care of them just like I am now!!

Person 2 defended me and said that she knows someone who had a child with Down's and they decided to have another child.. because they knew the chances of having another one with Downs is slim.. however, they did have another one with it. But they get aid and the kids are growing up with parents who want to love and take care of them.

I stayed calm during this whole conversation and didn't fly off the rails...


Had this happened two years ago that would not have ended with me upset and still talking.

It would have ended with me going to jail for kicking her a*s because she was rude and unkind about her opinions.

I get now that everyone is entitled to the way that they feel.. no matter how pissed I get or how one sided their way of thinking is!

Growth is a b*tch sometimes!

1 comment:

  1. Person 1 needs to be shown how people with disabilities affect the entire community and all the taxpayers. The reason aid exists is because people with disabilitie have something to contribute to society and are valuable. She ought to spend some time volunteering in a group home or a school working with special needs people. She could learn a lot about them.